Sunday, July 19, 2015

0 Happy Birthday Chode Cancer!



If you're lucky, your rising sign or moon sign has spared you from the "Chode Behavior" that seems to affect many Cancers; but for some of you, it's simply that you were "born like this," and slowly over the years, it's gotten worse - you've developed into a seriously disturbed and sick human being. Can this be fixed? Well, let's see. Here are some of the traits of a "Chode Cancer." If you possess any of these traits, then you, my friend, are a first-class Chode Cancer!

Ha Ha Ha! As if I would waste my time writing your horoscope! Dream on, Chode Cancers! 

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

0 Taurus Horoscope For May 2015



This month begins with the sun in your sign joined with Mars. This wonderful combination would normally increase your drive and determination you get things done, and I hate to sound like Mr. on Fantasy Island but there is danger! The sun forms a transformational angle towards Pluto.   This could mean changes are about that could affect you deeply and emotionally. If you're the type of Taurus that is open to changes in this could be a good thing for you, but if the overwhelming restlessness that you felt throughout the year so far- actually for the last three years-has been something you found hard to embrace, and I encourage you to still be open, because some sort of evolution in your world is going to force the issue anyhow. Until this is sorted out, any other changes you try to make in your home to try to distract yourself or your family or to sugarcoat a deeper situation like re- decorating a room or re- painting your garage... any little thing like that- you're basically going to draw more attention to the situation that needs attention.  Hey don't kill the messenger, you wanted a big family now you got it ha ha ha ha! You're used to being more in control of your environment and you're known for creating an atmosphere thats very welcoming to your extended family and friends, but the reality is life isn't that perfect, you can always have the perfect home, the perfect life. No one at all times can be the perfect host or attend all the evnts that go on. Or go on all the trips were invited to. You also cant afford be whimsical about any other plans that may get in the way of this important issue.  For instance this is definitely not a good summer to go traveling! Taurus, If nothing else, this month can be spent planning on having an awsome fall and winter. Not everyone gets to play in the sun all summer. Some of us will just have to sit this one out. Lets hope things are loking up next month! 


For giggles! 





























0 Virgo Horoscope For May 2015



Time to change has come and gone
Watched your fears become your God
Overwhelmed, you choose to run
Apathetic to the stunned 
you feed the fire that burned us all
No one plans to take the path that brings you lower
And here you stand before us all and say its over 
Its over 


Virgo Horoscope for May 2015 

Planets have been pushing you as of late to make some changes. Well those changes don't necessarily have to focus on your personal life they can also involve your workplace and career . Mercury your ruling planet is sparkling brilliantly with Jupiter, this suggest something you learn perhaps from someone that gives you a quiet word of advice- much to your advantage, perhaps  a heads up on a job opportunity or maybe  a good friend just simply giving you a nudge to stop procrastinating and get to work on some goals that you've had. It could also involve subtly mentoring somebody yourself. The sun can still see you rather restless and unsatisfied with progress.  Mid-month the moon squares up with the sun and this becomes your backdrop for the rest of the month. This means that you need to proceed in all of this with caution do not go about it in a helter-skelter way. Apply attention to detail The best results. Remember all this as your grumbling about unfinished tasks and commitments- stuff that you've gotten behind on- as your grumbling about doing this realize that you're actually about to take on more responsibilities! In the middle of this you may meet somebody that's like a breath of fresh air -Venus sometimes makes us look at other people that we already know with fresh eyes also! It's kind of a trick Venus likes to pull,  make you think you're suddenly in love with your best friend ,stuff like that!  Don't get derailed by this- it's just a phase . Slow down and develop these  relationships and develop these  goals - and don't be a chode - that's my advice! 



Thursday, February 5, 2015

0 A Special Message for Capricorns for February 2015



If you're reading this, you may have had a very hard few weeks. You are a very practical person. Knowing yourself from an astrological perspective is keen to your success as a resident of planet Earth. The sun, Mercury, Venus and Mars are affecting you deeply right now.

 Understanding the nature of this reality will help you be who you really are. You have been capable since an early age of taking on a lot of external stuff that isn't yours to deal with and the problem with that is that you end up taking life a bit too seriously.