Thursday, May 22, 2014

0 Happy Birthday Gemini! The Evil Twins of the Zodiac Strike Again!

That yellow bastard Pluto will wreak havoc on everyone this month, but you will get noticed and you will be damn sexy as you get fish slapped! I usually write my own intros to the online astrologers I share, but this one from Cafe Astrology I came across is great -- I couldn't have said it better myself. If you are able to open youtube links on your phone then great, you can watch these short but informative videos. If not, don't worry, you should either be in jail or have a new laptop by, say, mid-August! I'll explain later. These are the most dedicated astrologers online, and I completely trust them to advise you as to how the stars, moon, and planets affect your being. Have a great birthday, try not to get arrested in a foreign country, and remember... you're almost famous, you're medium gorgeous, and gosh darn it -- Sancho loves you! 

Gemini Horoscope for June 2014

You continue to experience a greater need for rest, relaxation, and some level of withdrawal from demanding situations in the first three weeks of May, dear Gemini. Even so, there is likely to be a lot of activity with friends and networking, and fun opportunities arising from these activities, particularly around the 15th. Your desire to express yourself is strong, but you may need to be careful that you don't jump ahead of yourself by promising or revealing too much, too soon. Friendship complications tend to iron themselves out this month, and especially after the 19th. Where there may have been some coolness, you're now experiencing warmth as well as clarity. Partnership matters should be very strong in May - relationships in general are steadying, healing, and stabilizing. Many of you are likely to experience a sense of ease on a financial level. More security in your job is possible now. Your natural talents seem to be called into play, and appreciated or noticed by those in authority. You may have more resources to invest into your career or business, and decision making is much less painful. All of these things are good, but better after the 21st, when the Sun enters your sign and Mars turns direct. This begins a power period for pleasure, personal magnetism, and self-confidence, with the New Moon on the 28th adding extra punch to your presentation.

 I share this lady's monthly horoscopes because she is the best at what she does. Trust me, she is dead-on accurate. This one is her 'love' horoscope 

And here is her regular monthly horoscope

I used to love Kelly Rosano until she started singing at the end of her readings! And she has a tendency to go on and on. Just pretend you're getting life advice from your big sister! She really does have some good advice in this one and if she's right about the money, well hey you know we have Arctic Monkeys tickets for sale, right?!

Here is your song for the month:

Angelina Jolie is a Gemini

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