Saturday, May 11, 2013

0 Cancer Horoscope For May 2013



                          We are all a little weird
                          And life is a little weird 
                          And when we find someone whose
                          weirdness is compatible with ours
                          We join up with them and fall 
                          in mutual weirdness
                          And call it love
                                                      Dr. Seuss 


                                                                                                                                                      
   Look, I'm going to be honest with you Cancers, I have had some personal issues with Cancers as late so if at any time I seem to be speaking directly to you, you are right I am... you bamboozler! Ha Ha Ha! Gotcha! Only joking...sort of. 
   Look I am truly trying to going "by the book" with this reading so it in fact may even sound a little bit mechanical. 
     A lively agenda is in store for you in the first few weeks of this month, you crabby f*ckers. You are in demand and  highly stimulated. Now what the fuck is that suppose to mean? See I can't do this. 





                                                      Sounds like Xanaland has a beef with Cancers this month


....Alright, alright.
Anyhow as I was saying there will be lots of activity this month, it will not be dull that is for sure, and after the first week Mars and Mercury are in apposing aspects with Saturn, what this does is bring some old resentments that you may have not dealt with to the surface. Very big decisions will be made, and Saturn is almost lying in wait in a very striking way, it's a very restrictive planet and one that has to do with discipline.

 If your wanting to demonstrate your qualities and your talent, you cant be to idealistic about it, because if you are, you may find that the people you are dealing with just are not getting where you are coming from at all. 

The solar eclipse on the 10th does wonders for your sign and this will give you the opportunity you need in your career and you will be networking and making connections and interacting with a lot of new people, and at the same time Venus moves into a more reflective zone, so as much as you may have these hopes, its all about how they're going to play out in reality, and in reality you've got to be aware of issues that have to do with trust and sincerity. 
Mercury  which has been in place since the 2nd, will fade away on the 16th and this is, my moody crab, the moment of truth when Uranus and that yellow bastard planet Pluto do their job on us, its truly an astrological disaster. 

It is almost an exact repetition of last year, and you have got to be conscious that in your professional or worldly situation, you cannot have everything on your own terms and if you try to, you can create an enormous amount of opposition, and this can really rock a serious amount of boats, and at the same time you may feel like you are really painted into a corner in this situation. 
Let's face it, The Beatles may have been wrong but Happy Bunny was right... school and other training prepares you for the real world, which also sucks...and on a personal note, we are all dealing with huge disappointments in our lives, each and every person I know, no one is perfectly happy, so don't worry...nothing will be okay! Ha ha gotcha again! 
Venus, Mercury and the sun will stay in this reflective pattern until the last week of the month when Venus and Jupiter go along side and someone could be enormously generous to you out of the blue or give you credit that has been long overdue for your hard work. And money is freedom so lets hope its cold hard cash! There is also a great link between Mercury and Jupiter, so ideas that you have building up on the back burner, do not discount this as they may come in when needed and there may be employment opportunities that are linked to this also.

The powerful lunar eclipse at the end of the month gets mangled by Neptune and things can get dispiriting again, the backdrop for this is being set and will tell a lot about how your next 6 months will go. It has to do with your energy, once more this is a very cautionary tale, if your trying to put your sense of values in situations that require you to be utterly realistic then you may be let down and you will only have yourself to blame if you do not take the advice of others and this includes asking for help in any area of your life. A person should not be afraid to talk to professionals for help. that's what they are there for. Someone who is not involved in your life can always give a fresh perspective, so be be open minded yet careful and reach out.

The world is as it is. People are not always honest. So, a complicated month for you Cancers. Don't rock the boat baby! And even though your moody mofo's , still remember you are almost famous, your medium gorgeous, and gosh darn it, Xana loves you!

                                                             Yours Truly, Sancho 


Your song for the month:





                 Debbie Harry is a Cancer




...but then again so is Courtney Love, ha! That's 3 times..Roast! 


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